and danced with skeletons on the beach
i saw before me a path made of nothing
the kind of path we often see
and say "i'll come back later
i'll walk there next time"
with no clue when "next time" will be
only a raw certainty there will, in fact, be one
this time i went to it
and walked to the place that was nowhere
past the forgotten songs of children
who dream they are seals or swans
searching ashes every night for their skins
past the unconscious barriers
that would tell me whether or not i am one of them
that would categorize me as seal, swan, or delusional
and met the sun-haired man
this time, he was waiting in an old fort
and noted me with an element of surprise
i'd seen him before, yes, but not like this
"how much control do you want?" he asked
"how much control should i try to have?"
"you know the answer."
"all of it." i said
"i'm a god, you know." he said.
"i'm inside all of them."
for the first time, understanding
there is no logic in the way we hold ourselves back
no reason we are always afraid
the repression of our spirits is the one true sin
i think god wanted eve to eat the apple