then she said that this condition would be turning painful in a matter of seconds and gave me some cyanide pills, which i took immediately. i still didn't die right away though.
i ended up getting released from the hospital to see people before i died. i ended up at my grandparents' house where there were a whole bunch of people gathered. "i should have shown more concern for them in my life," i thought, "look how many people are here who care that i'm dying." but it turned out they were gathered for some other reason and had no idea i was dying, and i didn't much feel like telling them.
then i ended up here with the current roomies. as i wandered around the house thinking about my life, i passed C@ and asked her where i should go to die when it was finally time for my body to stop moving. i didn't want to make a mess in her house. i wanted removal of my body to be fairly quick and easy. she told me it would be okay to die in the bathroom.
throughout this dream, i kept thinking of all the things i wished i would have done and all the things i wished i would have said to people. i was accepting of the fact that i was going to die, but i still considered the end of my life as a serious loss of human potential. near the end of the dream, i was wishing for a second chance, some glitch in time or reality, anything. i told myself that if i got a second chance, i'd say all the things i'd wished i'd said to people and do as many of the things i'd wished i'd done as possible.
so when i woke up in bed, it took a moment for me to realize i wasn't dying, and my first thought was "this is my second chance."
(original post: 9.15.10 on blogger)